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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23102923">My Father's Son</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyginger/pseuds/tinyginger'>tinyginger</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Family Business [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AU ish, Abusive John Winchester, BAMF Jessica Moore, Bad Parent John Winchester, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bisexual Jessica Moore, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Dean Winchester Has Mental Health Issues, Established Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Family Feels, Fluff, Mental Health Issues, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parent Jessica Moore, Parent Sam Winchester, Pre-Canon, Queer Sam Winchester, Sad, Sam Winchester Has Mental Health Issues, Sam Winchester Has Nightmares, Sam Winchester is a Good Dad, Stanford Era (Supernatural)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 14:01:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,206</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23102923</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyginger/pseuds/tinyginger</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dean shows up at Sam's Stanford apartment in the middle of the night he discovers might have lost Sam to the "Apple Pie" life sooner than expected. His plans of trying to convince Sam to join his father and him again change when he meets the reasons Sam needs to stay out of the family business. But in true Winchester fashion, things don't go to plan and loved ones are lost. Dean get's his baby brother back and Sam understands his father a little better.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, future castiel/dean winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Family Business [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1660540</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>70</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>My Father's Son</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I started again and rewrote it lol. But ya, basically Supernatural if Sam had started a family with Jess while at Stanford. Enjoy:)</p><p>some dialogue from 01x01</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Darkness cloaked the street that led to the rundown apartment he called home. The cracked sidewalk reached out and threatened to trip him as he held tight to the strap of his old army surplus backpack with one hand, and kept his other free to grab the oversized pocket knife from his pocket. Every shadow was a possible threat, every opossum a potential monster, every human a potential foe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally making his way to the front door of his home, after walking up the creaky stairs, Sam fished the keys out of his pocket. He could already hear the muted melodies of Fleetwood Mac playing from his kitchen. The familiar sound brought a smile to his face as he stepped into the safety of his home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After locking the door and checking the salt lines, he snuck around the corner of the doorframe, attempting to get a peak at the woman dancing in the kitchen. Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun, stray curls bouncing as she danced in her underwear and one of his shirts. The wooden spoon in her hand had been turned into a microphone and the kitchen was her stage. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beside her, dancing on the table, a toddler with dirty blonde hair and her own spoon was laughing hysterically as they sang along with Stevie Nicks. They had yet to notice him so he watched on. Complete peace filled him as he listened to their laughter mixing with the music. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A half hearted cry from the infant in the baby swing pulled Sam from his spot by the door. He scooped the baby girl up into his arms and cradled her against his chest. Her hair was darker than her sisters, but still not as dark as his own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you trying to sing with Mama and Dee?” Sam cooed, alerting the two dancing queens to his presence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daddy!” The small voice rang out excitedly as he entered the kitchen and walked over to the counter, her arms latched around his neck the moment he was in reach. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Monkey, you guys having fun?” Sam asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We make dinner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see that.” Sam leaned over and kissed Jess then looked in the pot on the stove, “It smells amazing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Spaghetti.” Jess smirked, “With brownies for dessert.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh?” Sam looked from Jess to his daughter, “What’s the occasion?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We Ce-brate!” DJ yelled excitedly as she smooshed herself closer to her father. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what are we celebrating?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your LSAT scores! Sam, you didn’t honestly think I’d let this go without a celebration right?” Jess gave him a disbelieving look. “You know what, don’t answer that, just get in a celebrating mood and set the table.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes ma’am.” Sam nodded and deposited his eldest daughter on the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before setting the table, Sam went to his bedroom, his youngest daughter still in his arms. He laid her on the bed and tickled her tummy while staring at his phone. He closed his eyes and flipped the phone open. His thumb automatically typed the number.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It rang, and rang, and rang, and finally, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>This is Dean Winchester. If this is an emergency, leave a message. If you’re calling about 11-2-83, please page me with your coordinates”. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>His jaw clenched as he snapped his phone shut. He hadn’t been able to get a hold of Dean in almost a year. There’s always the possibility that he had to ditch the phone, but it’s most likely the phone is stashed away in the glovebox of the Impala and Dean is too busy to remember to check it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean rarely checks his messages anyway, and it’s even rarer for him to check his email. He’d hoped his brother would check more frequently after he left, but Sam fears he burned too much of their bridge for his brother to care very much. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He didn’t answer?” Jess whispered from where she stood in the doorway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam shook his head and blinked the unshed tears out of his eyes, “Didn’t think he would.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That doesn’t stop you from hoping.” Jess sighed and moved to rub his shoulders, “When was the last time you actually spoke with him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Two years ago?” Sam shrugged, “It was when I was in the hospital.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sam…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was busy and it wasn’t important.” Sam insisted. “As it is, I’m not sure I’m even part of their family anymore.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We could always change your name to Moore when we get married.” Jess suggested, “Or better yet, we change our last names completely, the girls’ too. Something cool, like Hendrix.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess and Sam Hendrix?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah!” Jess nodded then gently poked her daughter’s cheek, “I’d say ‘Nicks’ but I think that’d be a bit on the nose for Stevie.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam chuckled, “Dee would love it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That she would.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After dinner, Sam and Jess helped DJ put their youngest to bed. DJ was determined to be the “bestest big sissy da whole world, and Australia, have never seen”, and she was, at least in her parents’ opinions. She was gentle and attentive with the six-month-old, always trying to comfort her when she was fussy, and constantly asking if she could help with the baby. Jess didn’t see any issue with letting their daughter help out, and all Sam could see when watching his daughter was the similarity between his eldest daughter and his older brother. DJ was treating Stevie how Sam remembers Dean treating himself. More so when they were older, but he can see it happening already. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There are so many things that his daughter does that he wants to share with Dean. If he could, he’d gush to Dean about how DJ will climb into her sister’s crib the nights when Stevie is giving them more trouble, and how she is always reading to the infant, and showing and explaining the world to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just the other day, Sam caught DJ setting her chalkboard up in the living room in front of the baby swing and “teaching” Stevie words. When he asked why she was doing that, DJ responded, “Wanna knows what she tink  ‘bout Scooby.” in the most serious way a two year old could. He had tried to call Dean again that day, it was too cute not to share with his brother. But Dean hadn’t answered, which was probably for the best seeing as if he would have answered Sam would have had to explain that he now has two daughters both of whom Dean knows nothing about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daddy, when Halloween?” DJ asked as he tucked her in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When me’s birthday?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Four days from now, on November 3rd.” Sam brushed her hair out of her face, “How old are you going to be?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She held up three of her tiny fingers and smiled, “Three!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re gonna be so old.” Jess sighed from the door, “Rent goes up when you turn three, best have that checkbook ready.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rent?” The look of confusion on their daughter’s face made both Sam and Jess unable to hold in their laughs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mama’s just being silly.” Sam soothed his daughter, “You’ll never have to pay rent to live with us, no matter how old you are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Otay, Daddy!” DJ didn’t really understand what her father was saying, they knew that, but the complete trust in her parents… in Sam, made him want to cry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get some sleep, we’ve got a long day tomorrow.” Jess smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Party!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, you’ve got the party at daycare, while Daddy and I go to class, and then you are gonna go hang out with Miss Sandra,” Jess reminded, “and Daddy and I are gonna go to our own party.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I come?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, Monkey, you’re gonna go watch a movie with Miss Sandra and Kelly.” Jess kissed her daughter’s forehead, “then Daddy and I will pick you up after our party is over.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Otay…” DJ looked deep in thought for a moment, “Can Stevie come?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam nodded, “Yeah, Stevie is going with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The little girl looked satisfied, “Otay.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With the girls asleep, Sam and Jess went about their nightly routines, mainly consisting of doing homework, paying bills, and working out schedules of classes, work and daycare. Recently, Sam had been picking up extra shifts at the library whenever he could and would often extend his tutoring sessions. He even started helping out with maintenance around the building more to keep himself busy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As usual, leading up to Halloween Sam barely slept. At first he blamed it on his upcoming LSATs, then he blamed it on his nervousness for his meeting with his professor the next day, but in all honesty, he wasn’t too worried. His law professor loved him, mainly because Sam wasn’t afraid to argue, but he knew when to shut up. One thing about Sam was he wasn’t big on in class participation, but he would talk with his professor for an hour or more after class. He liked one on one conversations better than taking up class time. He had half convinced Jess that his insomnia was caused by his worry, but she was smart and could see right through him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you, please, at least try to sleep tonight?” Jess whispered, her chest vibrating under his ear as she spoke. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was only 10pm, and they were laying in bed, Jess propped up against the headboard and pillows, Sam laying facedown on top of her. Her textbook rested on his back as she read through the chapters for her homework, occasionally jotting something down in the notebook that rested at her side. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As usual, Sam had his homework completed within a day of getting it. His insomnia and nightmares led him to staying up and he deemed that a perfect time to get a “head start” on his homework. He would often lay with Jess while she did her homework. Being able to relax and be comforted while she worked filled him with warmth. When she absentmindedly ran her fingers through his hair, and brushed her fingers against his cheek or forehead, or the back of his neck he turned to putty. The way she would rub his back and mumble the sentences of her textbook that were more confusing and in depth than others sent shivers through his body and made him want to cry. It was a comfort he never really had, not even when Dean had his softer moments.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While Sam credits his brother for being the main reason he is able to show love and even knows what that is, he also recognizes that Dean was in the same situation he was, but Dean didn’t have an older brother caring for him. Sam had tried, in his own childish ways, to be a comfort to Dean. But he was a child, and Dean needed an adult to care for him. They both did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m trying right now, but you keep talking.” Sam chuckled against her shirt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know what I mean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam stayed quiet for a while. He knew exactly what she was talking about, the pills. Simple little sleeping pills that lived in their medicine cabinet, never opened. They were prescribed to him when he ended up in the hospital due to exhaustion. That wasn’t the only reason, but it was the one he told everyone, the one he deemed not too bad but believable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed, “Jess…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, you don’t want to, but it’s getting bad again.” She had completely abandoned her textbook and had taken to running her hands down his spine and scratching the back of his head, “The nightmares, the migraines… I’m worried about you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, I’m sorry.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be sorry, Sam, I’m not upset with you.” Jess spoke softly, but firm enough to make him hear her, “This isn't your fault.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t take them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, and you don’t have to do or take anything you don’t want to. Okay? Not for me, not for anyone else, you do what is best for you,” Jess reminded him, “but consider it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Some would argue that taking those pills is what’s best for me.” Sam stated, his brain automatically supplying the other side of the argument. “You would probably say that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s correct, and while I think those pills would help you physically, I worry what taking them would do to your mental health.” Jess stated, “especially with your reluctance to take them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So which is more important, mental or physical health?” Sam posed the question in a neutral way, as per usual, when they had discussions like these. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They should go hand in hand.” Jess stated her point, and Sam agreed, but he knew from experience that physical health should be handled immediately because feelings could wait. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should take one.” Sam stated after a long silence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you won’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was right, knowing he should take one and taking one are two very different things. He needed to stay alert, to protect his family. He needed to be able to wake up and fight. He needed to be able to get his family out if the house suddenly went up in smoke. He needed to be able to save them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mama?” A soft voice called from their doorway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Monkey, what’s up?” Jess’ voice was soft and full of love as she spoke to her daughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A sigh too big for the child escaped her tiny nose, “Bad dream.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam turned to look at his daughter. Her blonde hair and freckles made her look just like Dean. There was a picture that Sam always loved, that was taken before their mom died. Dean was barely four, and he was holding a newborn Sam and sitting with their mother on her bed. His eyes were wide and his freckles on full display. Sam knows Dean looks more like Mary, probably acts more like her too. He always thought that’s why their father liked Dean more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>DJ looks like Dean, therefore, she looks like Mary. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can has story?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their daughter climbed up on the bed, not waiting for an invitation, and laid down on her father’s back. Sam’s heart fluttered as he felt the weight of his daughter lightly pressing him down. He was sandwiched between two of the most important people in his life, his other little girl safe and asleep in the other room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A tear slipped from his eye as he felt his world right itself just a little. His broken parts pulling together and mending a little more as he felt love seep into his soul. This was what he’d been looking for all those times he ran away. This is what he never had. What Dean had for four years, what he had for only six months. This was living, not just surviving. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Halloween had never been Sam’s favorite holiday, if he was fully honest with himself and Jess, he’d realize he just didn't’ like holidays in general because they were never a happy thing in the Winchester family, at least not since he was six months old. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Truth be told, Halloween was rather slow for hunters. The monsters seemed to stay in on all hallows eve, only a few familial ghosts were rumored to be around, but those were all invited by their living family members. Sam never saw the harm in celebrating Dias los Muertos. He figured, as long as no ghosts stayed around to become malevolent, might as well get a chance to talk to your dead relatives. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But nevertheless, Halloween was a reminder of how he grew up, and how he never got to be a normal kid. Jess was determined to persuade him to love her favorite holiday. And though he’d never tell her, her efforts were working. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even with him growing to like the holiday with each passing year, the days leading up to Halloween were still some of the hardest. Most nights Sam was woken by a sound in or around their home. The old home liked to tell stories at night, and would often creak and groan as the weather outside cooled. On bad nights he would be startled awake by a car backfiring and wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep. Sometimes, he’d go into their living room and study. Other nights he’d go to the spare room, - turned office, turned baby room,- turned toddler/baby room and would sit next to the small bed and run his fingers through his daughter’s dirty blonde hair, and listen to the sleepy breathes and coos that came from the crib across the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He decided on studying most nights for the past two months. If he wasn’t going to sleep he might as well ensure he did good on his LSATs. Which he did. But now that he had finished with those, and all his class work had been finished early, he really had nothing to do but sit and worry about his brother and father, and wonder if he’d ever see them again… if they’d ever meet his daughters. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They probably weren’t going to be on a hunt, so Dean would go to a bar, find a girl or two, preferably dressed as a slutty angel and devil, and he’d end up going back to their place, or taking them to his motel room. While he knows Dean tends to believe their father never even looked at another woman after Mary died, Sam knows his father was more like Dean than he let on. So their father would probably be doing a very similar thing, though, with more booze and less costumes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sam! Get a move on, would ya?” Jess called as she put her earring on. “We were supposed to be there like fifteen minutes ago. Sam! You comin’ or what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do I have to?” Sam poked his head into the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hell yes, it’ll be fun.” She rolled her eyes as she took him in, “and where is your costume?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know how I feel about Halloween.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not actually Halloween.” Jess pointed out. “Just a party.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Still.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess made a face, “Lame.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daddy is us’s patient, Mama.” In the doorway, dressed as a doctor, stood DJ her dirty blonde hair tied up in two curly pigtails.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m your patient.” Sam smirked. “That’s my costume.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a tug on his jeans and a quiet, “up!” alerting him that his daughter wanted to be held. He effortlessly scooped the tiny human up and hugged her to his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daddy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Dee?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She poked a tiny finger in the middle of his forehead, “Is it headachey?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not right now, why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The little girl shrugged and snuggled her face into his shoulder, “Eyes say ouch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My eyes say ouch?” Sam looked to Jess with confusion. “I’m fine, Monkey, I promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pulled away and studied him for a moment. Her little eyebrows knitted together and nose scrunching up as she stared at her father. A soft smile fell over Jess’ face as she watched her daughter make the same face Sam did while he was studying or trying to decipher what was bothering one of his three girls. While Sam was constantly talking about how much DJ looks like Dean and therefore how much she must look like Mary, Jess saw so much of Sam in their eldest daughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ya know,” Sam started, “I could just stay home with the girls and-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No Sam, you are coming with me. We’re gonna have some adult time and celebrate your LSAT score.” Jess huffed, “and you are going to enjoy yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes ma’am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On their way to drop DJ and Stevie off at Sandra’s, Sam and Jess let DJ run up to some houses and ask for candy. It wasn’t a long walk, Sandra lived only a few blocks from campus, and it was on their way to the club where they were meeting their friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luis was already there waiting for them, dressed as a zombie. Sam rolled his eyes as the footballer mimicked taking a bite out of his neck when they hugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’s Brady?” Jess asked, expecting him to already be there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luis shrugged, “I thought he would be coming with you guys.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nope.” Jess shook her head and looked at Sam. “Did he tell you anything?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Last we talked he was meeting us here.” Sam sighed. “But who knows.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’ll be here man.” Luis tried to reassure Sam. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s not wait on him.” Sam suggested. “He’s probably inside already fucking someone in the bathroom.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess sighed and followed Sam into the club, “That’s the spirit.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A small amount of time and many shots later they were sitting at a table. They were talking about exams and papers and classes and how much they needed a vacation. When Luis came back with more shots Jess decided to make a toast. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So here’s to Sam and his fucking awesome LSAT victory.” Jess raised her shot glass. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam sighed, still recovering from the last round of shots, “Alight, alright, it’s not that big a deal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He acts all humble, but he scored a 174.” Jess smirked, watching Sam down his shot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luis took a shot with him, “Is that good?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess chuckled, “Scary good!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So there you go, first round draft pick.” Luis said as he circled Sam. “You can go to any Law school you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Actually, I got an interview here… Monday.” Sam couldn’t keep the smile from his face. “If it goes okay, I think I got a shot at a full ride next year.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey!” Jess grabbed his arm. “It’s gonna go fucking great!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam gave her a nervous smile, “It better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How does it feel to be the golden boy  of your family?” Luis asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam shook his head, “Ah, they don’t know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, no! I would be gloating!” Luis stood on tipsy legs. “Why not?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“‘Cause we’re not exactly the Bradys.” Sam threw a peanut at Luis but his tone shifted to one that Jess didn’t like. It was his ‘I miss my family but they hurt me’ tone and it was usually accompanied by him not getting out of bed for the next two days. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I’m not exactly the Huxtables.” Luis stood, throwing a peanut back at Sam. “More shots!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!” Jess and Sam protested at the same time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!” Sam continued, “No!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, seriously, I’m so fuckin’ proud of you!” Jess told him. “DJ is too! And Stevie would also be proud if she was old enough to process emotions like pride, but she’ll be proud when she’s older and can understand how fuckin’ amzin’ her Daddy is! And you’re gonna knock ‘em dead on Monday and you’re gonna get that full ride. I know it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gazed at the amazing woman sitting in front of him, his thoughts momentarily going to his mother and how he understands his father a little better now, “What would I do without you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess smirked and smugly replied, “Crash and burn.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as they were pulling away from the kiss, Luis came back with a tray full of too many shots. “Shots!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jesus, did you leave any at for the rest of ‘em?” Jess asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shots!” Luis replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do realize we actually have to be able to function after this?” Sam asked his already inebriated friend. “We still have to be fucking parents.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luis shrugged and repeated, “Shots!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re worse than Dee when she wants somethin’.” Jess laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I bet she’s proud of her Daddy getting a 174 on his LSATs.” Luis nudged Sam’s arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She sooo is!” Jess confirmed leaning into Sam’s arm until he smiled, “She said she was gonna get a 174 on her Doctor’s LSATs when she takes them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course she will.” Luis chuckled. “You guys are raising a child prodigy, you know that right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s smart like her Daddy.” Jess smirked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re smart too! Miss Double Major.” Sam countered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, so she’s smart like both of us.” Jess rolled her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God, sitting with you two makes my IQ rise at least ten points.” Luis laughed. “Will you adopt me so I can actually pass my finals?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice try.” Jess smirked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll help you study.” Sam offered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks Dad.” Luis took another swig of his beer, “I don’t know how you got here on academics alone, man.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You guys are here too.” Sam pointed out, taking another shot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah but-” Jess downed her shot and leaned against Sam for a moment. “Luis had his football and I had volleyball. You just had your brain dude.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever.” Sam rolled his eyes and they all took another shot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later that night, they were walking back to campus. Jess was wearing Sam’s jacket and his shoes while she walked in curved lines next to him, holding on to his arm as they walked. Sam was barefoot, holding her heels by the strap in the hand pushing the stroller, his t-shirt getting its shoulder soaked with drool from the sleeping toddler he was carrying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sam, you’re amazing.” Jess stated suddenly, words slurring a bit. “You know that right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gave a half hearted smile and nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No Sam.” Jess frowned. “I don’t think you actually get how amazing you are. You’re- you’re amazing Sam. Fucking amazing!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! What your family did was shitty! They should’ve been happy for you, supportive at least.” She urged. “You got a scholarship to fuckin’ Stanford! Stanford! That’s fucking insane! It’s so hard to even qualify to apply to Stanford, I would know, and you- and then your dad said those nasty things and your brother just moves on. That’s not okay!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam nodded, “I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They haven’t even met DJ!” Jess shook her head. “Or Stevie! Do they even know about ‘em? Do you even know if they know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” His father knew Jess had been pregnant at one point, but Sam was sure if either of them knew he had two daughters, if Dean knew he had nieces he would be on their doorstep demanding to meet them, “He would’ve shown up if he knew.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Two years!” Jess ranted, “It’s been two years since Dean even called. The only reason he called was because I had tried for nine days to get a hold of him or your dad when you ended up in the hospital! You were in the hospital and your family didn’t fucking show up!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He didn’t know,” Sam defended. “and by the time he did… I was fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re talkin’ ‘bout Dean right? Sam, you shouldn’t have to defend him about this.” Jess let out a huff, “And what about your dad? He fucked you up good didn’t he? You act like getting a 174 on your fucking LSATS is like getting a participation ribbon and you’re so use to him not caring that you don’t even think to defend him about not comin’ to the hospital!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, house rules three and four.” Sam reminded, “You don’t psychoanalyze my childhood and I don’t turn an argument into a court case.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. I know.” Jess sighed, “You can object and call recess all you want tomorrow, right now I’m putting a pause on our agreement so I can rant to you about how great you are and how fucked up it is that you don’t believe it. Okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but Jess…” Sam took a breath, “I believe you. I believe that to you and to DJ and Stevie, I am important and that you and our daughters are proud of me. And that’s all that matters to me. You and the girls are my world, if you’re proud of me then I’m proud of me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam pulled her into a one armed hug and kissed her head, “I love you so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We should get ice cream.” Jess said, then rubbed her hand on DJ’s back to wake her up. “You want ice cream kiddo?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their almost three-year-old daughter replied with a sleepy, “Hell yeah.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m blaming you when we get called to her school because she’s teaching all the other kids cuss words.” Sam told Jess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If she knows what it means and can use it correctly in a sentence, she can say it.” Jess reminded, “Language shouldn’t be withheld from anyone, especially a child. Her brain is developing and she is learning faster than she will learn at any other time in her life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, and that’s why we are exposing her to so many languages.” Sam nodded. “I’m just saying, our daughter being fluent in Spanish and French by the time she is five will be impressive, our daughter cursing more than both of us combined by the time she’s fine will make your aunt call CPS.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aunt Trudy doesn’t know shit.” Jess replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam rolled his eyes and listened to Jess and DJ count in different languages while they walked to 7/11 to get ice cream. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mama!” DJ yelled into Sam’s ear while trying to get her mother’s attention. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daughter!” Jess replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>DJ pointed to the gummy worms, “Candy, s'il vous plaît?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sour or regular?” Sam asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sour!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get them!” Jess cheered. “What flavor ice cream do you want?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chocolate!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great! Sam?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cookies and Cream.” Sam replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m getting Rocky Road, can we share?” Jess asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t we always?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After buying the treats, the small family walked home. Jess was already digging into her ice cream, giving spoonfuls to both her babies. DJ had been digging into the sour gummy worms but got tired so handed them to Sam. The young girl wasn’t totally asleep though, and was listening to her mother rant about one of her professors and what a dumb-ass the TA is. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mama, you be la teacher.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should be the teacher?” Jess chuckled. “Maybe one day I will be a professor. You know, once I get tired of working with children, and after I get my PhD.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam sighed, “We’re never going to be out of debt, are we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm… probably not.” Jess tilted her head. “But I’m hoping with your full ride, and my scholarships and grants, we won't have too much to pay off. But then of course we’ll have JoJo’s college to pay for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“College!” DJ cheered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s right Monkey, and Mama and Daddy are going to pay for all of it, so you don’t have to worry about a thing.” Jess told her daughter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Danke.” DJ replied in German. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, maybe she’ll get a grant for being multilingual.” Sam pointed out. “Along with other grants and scholarships. I’m sure she’ll be eligible for a lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure she will be.” Jess agreed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once at home, Sam put his girls to bed. He first got DJ ready for bed by changing her into her pjs, brushing her teeth, and brushing her hair. Then, together, they got Stevie ready for bed. They both were asleep two minutes into the bedtime story, so he gently kissed both of their foreheads, and left her room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He found Jess sitting on the kitchen counter, spoon in her hand, but ice cream abandoned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t feel so good.” Jess admitted when she saw Sam.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, let’s get you into something more comfortable.” He spoke softly as he helped her from the counter and guided her to their room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sat her on the toilet and grabbed her Smurfs shirt and a pair of underwear for her. Getting her out of the small dress was easy. Getting her dressed was a bit harder, but he didn’t mind because she was giggling the time and hearing that always makes him smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He skillfully put her hair into a bun and grabbed her makeup wipes from the drawer. They laughed as he cleaned her face, making sure her whole nightly skin care routine was done just as she usually does it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you.” Jess slurred, her words getting more obscured by him squishing her cheeks as he rubbed in the face moisturizer. “I love you. I lub ooo. I ub ooo.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam chuckled and kissed her nose, “I love you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She stayed in the bathroom with him while he got ready for bed. She didn’t want to leave yet mainly because she felt sick, but also because he was in there and she didn’t want him to be lonely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Imma puke.” Jess announced from her place on the bathroom floor.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you need help?” Sam asked again, it was the third time she’s announced it then done it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah,” Jess got to her knees in front of the toilet. “I gots it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.” Sam chuckled. “You want some water?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, water ‘s good.” Jess gagged. “We like water.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We do like water.” Sam nodded. “You gonna be okay if I leave for a minute?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah dude.” Jess assured him. “-is good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam nodded and left to get her some water. On his way back he checked on DJ. She was asleep but he could hear Jess from her room, so he turned on the radio that was on her dresser and smiled as he heard the soft sounds of classic rock. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam sighed, kissed his daughter’s forehead again and whispered, “Dean would love you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was almost three in the morning, on November first, when Sam found himself awake. His first instinct was to reach for the knife under his pillow, a habit he couldn’t break even now that there was no knife. He checked the hall outside their room where Jess slept on, and quickly made his way towards the girls’ room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A sound alerted him from the kitchen, then he saw the figure pass a doorway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He waited, knowing whoever or whatever it was was heading to the living room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As it passed him, he pounced, knowing he needed to defeat whatever danger was in his home before it got his girls. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fighting came back to him naturally, he’d been in his fair share of fights over his few years at Stanford, mainly with drunk frat boys who didn’t care to listen to the word “no”. Though, this opponent was his equal, or to his displeasure, his superior. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The words “whoa, easy, tiger.” paralyzed him. The voice was so familiar… he knew he had to be in a dream. A terrible nightmare that would end up with Dean, and probably Jess and the girls all dying while he watched. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt too real though, too real to be a dream, “Dean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The chuckle from his brother brought him back, he wasn’t dreaming, this was real. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You scared the crap out of me.” He tried to focus his eyes in the darkness, desperately needing to see his brother’s face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s ‘cause you’re out of practice.” Dean teased, it’s real. It’s real. Dean is really there. After years of not… Anger flared in Sam as he flipped Dean over and pinned him to the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or not,” Dean let out a humorless laugh, “Get off me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dean, what the hell are you doing here?” Sam asked as he helped his brother off the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I was looking for a beer.” Dean grabbed his brother’s shoulders, sizing him up in the darkness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess flicked on the lights, “Sam?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could tell she was hungover but trying her best to figure out what was going on. It wasn’t abnormal for either of them to wake up to a friend being in their house. For a while, Sam was bringing Brady home every night. And Jess would often invite some of the girls from her Volleyball team to spend the night studying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dean, this is my girlfriend, Jessica.” Annoyance laced his words as he worried about the noise possibly waking the girls. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait.” Jess smiled, “Your brother Dean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love the Smurfs.” He was impressed by her lack of reaction, “You know, I gotta tell you, you are completely out of my brother’s league.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She rolled her eyes, “Just let me put something on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no. I wouldn’t dream of it, seriously.” He ignored the glare from his little brother as he spoke, “Anyway, I gotta borrow your boyfriend here, talk about some private family business, but nice meeting you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” Sam said, feeling more confident and secure with Jess by his side, “No, whatever you want to say, you can say it in front of her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Dean was unfazed, or at least acted as if his brother not following his lead didn’t sting just a little. “Umm, Dad hasn’t been home in a few days.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So he’s working overtime on a “miller time” shift. He’ll stumble back in sooner or later.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sass and indignation in Sam’s voice as he spoke went straight to Dean’s heart. He had missed his smart-mouth little brother and his sarcastic comments, but he was still hurt and upset with Sam and hated that Sam thought so little of their father. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad’s on a hunting trip,” Dean locked eyes with his brother, urging Sam to listen, “and he hasn’t been home in a few days.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The realization and fleeting look of fear that flashed in Sam’s eyes sparked hope in his older brother. Dean never wanted Sam to be scared, but if he was that meant there was a chance they could be a family again. If Sam was worried about their father, that means he cared. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess, excuse us.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>yes i'm writing this because I am doing another rewatch</p></blockquote></div></div>
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